Tuesday 11 August 2009, 16:00
Monday turned out to be a very happy start of the week indeed for Atlético Madrid. The rojiblancos lifted the world’s most insanely heavy trophy and also managed to ruin their cursed neighbour’s start of the season. Abel ‘dead man walking’ Resino’s men...
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Monday 10 August 2009, 14:00
In 2007, Sevilla took on Espanyol in an all-Spanish UEFA Cup final in Glasgow. Two of those players who took part in that dramatic game have since been lost to the world of football. Just under two years ago, Sevilla’s Antonio Puerta died in hospital...
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Friday 07 August 2009, 12:00
La Liga Loca is not sure how long it has to complete today’s entry. You see, it made a bit of a boo-boo this morning, and suspects that the t’internet police will be bursting in through its (already open) windows Minority Report-style at any moment. However...
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Thursday 06 August 2009, 12:00
Today’s update from la Liga Loca begins with a short competition. One of these scenarios has never been used by Getafe as part of an advertising campaign to boost season ticket sales ahead of a new campaign. Three of them have. a) A teenage boy changes...
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Wednesday 05 August 2009, 10:00
August in Spain means three things. La Liga Loca’s pale, delicate, Victorian child miner skin turns that one shade redder in the sun. The holiday-bound locals finally clear out of the blog’s city and let it get some much needed peace and quiet. And bored...
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Friday 31 July 2009, 14:00
A large chunk of the transfer talk over the summer has been David Villa’s ‘will he, won’t he, loves me, loves me not’ move to either Real Madrid or Barcelona. But it seems that this particular chapter in the year long saga has been closed - until at least...
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Tuesday 28 July 2009, 10:00
As with the transfer itself, the eventual presentation of Zlatan Ibrahimovic was stumbly, bumbly and all a little bit late. On Monday night, some 60,000 had gathered in the Camp Nou to welcome the Swedish striker to the Catalan capital. But they were...
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Monday 27 July 2009, 12:00
A concerned La Liga Loca can only hope that the Reverend Sun Myung Moon hasn’t been keeping his all-seeing eye on any football related shenanigans in Spain over the past weekend from his giant palace of light (where the blog imagines him to be living...
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Friday 24 July 2009, 12:00
To lose one gargantuan goal-machine of a footballer over the course of the summer, as happened to Manchester United with the departure of Cristiano Ronaldo, can be considered unlucky. To lose two is just plain daft. But that’s the unfortunate fate suffered...
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Wednesday 22 July 2009, 10:00
If Joan Laporta had known what a blooming ball-ache the Mad Sammy Eto’o for Mad Zlatan Ibrahimovic transfer was going to be, then the tantrum-throwing titan of the Camp Nou probably wouldn’t have bothered with the swap. Not only has the ceaseless saga...
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Tuesday 21 July 2009, 11:00
By and large, pre-season friendlies are rubbish. They’re something to watch when you’re too hungover to move, out of DVD boxsets or – if you're unfortunate enough to live in Britain – when it’s peeing down with rain. Pretty much nothing can be learned...
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Monday 20 July 2009, 10:00
Right about now, nearly all of the siesta’d-up squads of la Liga will have gathered together for pre-season training. 400 word assignments on “Wot I did on my holidays” will have been handed out and those having failed to return from Brazil will be offering...
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Friday 17 July 2009, 12:00
The polymathic genius that is La Liga Loca used to think that it had a decent grasp of economics. In its seven years teaching the subject at Rutland Poly, the blog would always opine that the standard operating procedure for something or someone in debt...
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Wednesday 15 July 2009, 12:00
While the Head of Player Presentations at the Camp Nou has spent the past few months hitting the refresh button on their Facebook page every three seconds in a desperate attempt to pass the time, their counterpart in Espanyol’s Pratland - or Cornella...
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Monday 13 July 2009, 11:00
High-trousered dream-shredder, Simon Cowell, is a lily-livered wimp of a man compared to his infinitely nastier and hard-bitten counterpart on Spanish television, Risto Mejide. For a number of years now the the world-weary judge on Spain’s version of...
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Friday 10 July 2009, 10:00
Well, Zippity-do-dah! Ding Dong Merrily on High! and Pah-Pah-Poker Face! A footballer from the UK and Ireland has grown some cojones and plucked up the courage to pack his knapsack and give the Spanish game a good old go. Late on Thursday night, Real...
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Wednesday 08 July 2009, 12:00
With Valencia not so much flirting with bankruptcy as leering at it with wedding tackle in-hand, gags and giggles have been hard to come by in Mestalla in recent months. Which was why a press conference called on Monday by the sometimes president and...
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Tuesday 07 July 2009, 11:00
If you are the president of a football club located in the wacky world of Andalusia, then standing up to your eyeballs in some kind of dodgy deal or saucy scandal forms part of the job requirements. Indeed, the minority of this money-obsessed mob who...
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Monday 06 July 2009, 10:00
While January's presentation of poor old Julien Faubert attracted around 70 people and a couple of pigeons, Cristiano Ronaldo is expected to get a whopping full-house crowd of 80,000 turning up for his coronation on Monday night, a total equalling...
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Thursday 02 July 2009, 08:00
La Liga Loca’s Atlético Madrid-loving acquaintances – the blog has no friends, friends make you weak – have been doing their very best to avoid the ongoing Galactico parties at the Bernabeu. But the lack of activity at their own club has made this a tough...
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Tuesday 30 June 2009, 10:00
When last mentioning the Segunda-bound Real Betis in blog dispatches, La Liga Loca made the rather snooty suggestion that only a couple of lagered-up flamenco singers and some confused tourists would be participating in the march against club owner Darth...
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Monday 29 June 2009, 09:00
In the fortnight between La Liga Loca leaving Spanish shores and being dragged back kicking and screaming, millions of protesters took to the streets of Iran, Jacko popped his clogs and the campaign to oust big loser, Vicente del Bosque, began in earnest...
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Monday 15 June 2009, 10:00
Andalusia is a land where out-of-tune wailing by battered old hags is considered music, where the locals speak as if their mouths are full of chorizo and where it’s always really, really hot. But very soon, the region down in the sticky south of Spain...
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Friday 12 June 2009, 12:00
“It’s insane! It’s obscene! What about the children! Frack me!” Just four of the descriptions of La Liga Loca’s conceptualist art exhibition currently on display outside its penthouse apartment. And melting rapidly in the summer sun. It’s also four of...
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Wednesday 10 June 2009, 12:00
Now the fairly Philistine La Liga Loca is dimly aware of three great works of Spanish fiction - Marca , Don Quixote and, er, Don Quixote . But it seems that a fourth may be added to this very short list. And it goes under the somewhat cumbersome title...
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Tuesday 09 June 2009, 11:00
With the briefest of announcements posted on their website in the wee small hours of Tuesday morning, Real Madrid had spread the word that they had doubled the number of playmakers who don’t really want to be at the club but would hang about for the cash...
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Monday 08 June 2009, 10:00
All over la Liga, Spain’s football clubs have been taking one for the team and helping out their most loyal supporters in these dark financial days. Almería have announced that they will be dropping their season ticket prices by 30 percent for the new...
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Friday 05 June 2009, 11:00
They may be completely unable to agree on the colour of ham or be in the same room together, but the terrible twins running Atlético Madrid have met in the middle over the appointment of Abel Resino as the side’s manager for next season. Or the first...
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Wednesday 03 June 2009, 10:00
Dash and darn it. Despite La Liga Loca and millions of its readers praying long and hard to all things unholy that either Arsene Wenger or Jose Mourinho would be joining the jamboree in Castle Greyskull, Manuel Pellegrini was the chosen chump to claim...
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Tuesday 02 June 2009, 10:00
To avoid a repeat of the deplorably dishonest presidential elections of 2006, a poll the local Colombos are still combing through - “One more thing before you go, Mr Calderón...” - Real Madrid’s bigwigs came up with a rather nifty plan... don’t have them...
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Monday 01 June 2009, 12:00
GOOD DAY Diego Forlán By the end of his 32-goal campaign, the Atlético forward was scoring the kind of efforts that, had you pulled them off on your PlayStation, would have made your friends beat you to death with a lamp. Atlético Madrid The cathedral...
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Friday 29 May 2009, 10:00
Saturday Mallorca (9th) vs Villarreal (5th) If the rumours swirling around the Spanish press are to believed, then Villarreal coach Manuel Pellegrini will be strapping himself into the Castle Greyskull ejector seat next week before being blasted into...
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Thursday 28 May 2009, 09:30
There were only two people in Rome who weren't completely sucked in by the enthralling action of the 2009 Champions League final. The first was the very desperate housewife, Eva Longoria, who was caught flicking through a magazine during the second...
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Wednesday 27 May 2009, 11:00
Cynical old La Liga Loca has been around for a few centuries now in one form or another and is all too aware that ‘dream finals’ rarely turn out that way. So knowing already that Wednesday’s affair will be to football what Guti is to commitment, the blog...
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Monday 25 May 2009, 12:00
Good Day Manolo Jiménez In a truly massive win for the mediocre, Sevilla secured third spot on Saturday night after a last minute 1-0 over Deportivo. But this achievement may not be enough to keep the side’s manager in a job mind, with Marca reporting...
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Friday 22 May 2009, 10:00
Saturday Villarreal (6th) vs EasyValencia (5th) And so two fine, upstanding, terrific teams must face the humiliation of a bruising barnyard scrap in their chase to overhaul... (sigh) ...Atlético Madrid in fourth place. Oh how low has la Liga sunk? While...
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Thursday 21 May 2009, 14:00
In general, La Liga Loca is not normally the jealous type. But it must admit to being a tad envious of the easy-peasy world of Spanish sporting journalism, where libel law is scoffed at and how to make stuff up without a shred of evidence is a much-admired...
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Wednesday 20 May 2009, 10:00
“Valdano negotiates with Villa!” yells Marca . “Villa takes a walk to Madrid!” screams AS . “Over my dead body!” splutters Raúl. Those were Wednesday’s headlines that greeted the appearance of David Villa in the streets of the Spanish capital the day...
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Tuesday 19 May 2009, 10:00
When the world’s finest football magazine repeatedly begged La Liga Loca to come on board some 78 years ago - well, offered it a packet of biscuits - those running the show knew they were getting their brilliant hands on an institution that spoke the...
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Monday 18 May 2009, 10:00
Good Day Barcelona Like a wet dream for Maniche, Barcelona didn’t even need to disembark from the bus on Sunday to seal the deal. Instead, it was the party-poopers from last weekend, Villarreal, who gave Pep’s Dream Boys a break with a sterling show against...
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Friday 15 May 2009, 11:00
Saturday Osasuna (17th) vs Sevilla (3rd) Last weekend, Osasuna boss José Antonio Camacho pretty much wrote off the relegation jelly-wrestle against Getafe before a ball had been kicked by leaving Persian pass-masters Javad Nekounam and Masoud Shojaei...
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Thursday 14 May 2009, 12:00
Barring witchcraft or a Bear Stearns-style collapse, Barcelona will be picking up at least two trophies this season, meaning yet more arrests in the Catalan capital from bottle-chucking culés. Wednesday night’s total reached around 45 say Sport - and...
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Wednesday 13 May 2009, 12:00
A few days ago, AS wrote that 35,000 batty Basques would be making the trip down to Valencia for Wednesday’s Copa de Rey final. Not the first time - and almost certainly not the last - the paper was quite wrong with its prediction. La Liga Loca’s own...
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Monday 11 May 2009, 13:00
GOOD DAY Valencia Saturday’s 3-0 win over Real Madrid was shows exactly why, every September, the pea-brained La Liga Loca calls for silence, stands on a chair and tipsily tips Valencia to win the title by 50 points. Ignore the fact that the Real Madrid...
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Friday 08 May 2009, 11:00
Saturday Sevilla (3rd) vs Mallorca (9th) With Raúl reportedly pondering the opportunity to disappear in crucial clashes for Man City next season with a four-year, 40-million-Euro offer on the table, it’s good to see that there is at least one footballer...
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Thursday 07 May 2009, 10:00
Poor Paco cut an unfashionable figure tucked away in the corner of his bar in Barcelona. Puffing away on his ciggies, supping on his cañas, Paco spent 97 minutes of Wednesday night being booed and barracked, hissed at and harassed by the dingy dive’s...
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Wednesday 06 May 2009, 09:30
La Liga Loca is unsure whether it’s a catastrophic caña -caused comedown from Seville’s annual Feria - which Sergio Ramos definitely, definitely did not attend two days before el Clásico - or reaching a tipping point of grumpiness. But something has definitely...
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Monday 04 May 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Barcelona When there are regurgitated guts and glass covering the streets the Catalan capital, you can be sure that it has been a good night for the culé-crazy part of the city. The 6-2 *rse-handing, humdinger of a thrashing inflicted on Madrid...
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Friday 01 May 2009, 10:00
Saturday Real Madrid (2nd) vs Barcelona (1st) It needed to be a whopping story to knock The Pig Plague, political corruption, cash-grabbing mayors and skyrocketing unemployment figures off the front pages of Spain’s papers this week. But that’s exactly...
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Wednesday 29 April 2009, 12:00
Mork and Mindy man, Robin Williams, would have been more useful than Pep Guardiola in the Dream Boys’ dressing room on Tuesday night. What the perplexed players of the Camp Nou needed was a rousing, desk-standing, pecker-inspiring speech about following...
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Tuesday 28 April 2009, 13:00
La Liga Loca doesn’t really get on with its neighbours. Or rather, its neighbours don’t really get on with La Liga Loca. And that’s fair enough considering the blog’s slight sociopathic tendencies and unmistakable musk of mothballs. But the one happy...
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Monday 27 April 2009, 12:00
GOOD DAY Real Madrid Blimey. Madrid could actually win this, a concept La Liga Loca poo-pooed just this weekend with its prediction of a defeat for Juande Ramos’ men. And this could send Barcelona fans into therapy for decades, not to mention the mental...
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Friday 24 April 2009, 10:00
Saturday Málaga (6th) vs Deportivo (8th) Now La Liga Loca must start Friday’s ramblings by apologising to Málaga and Deportivo - well, Málaga, anyway - for hijacking their section which should be a joyous dedication to two plucky teams chasing Europa...
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Thursday 23 April 2009, 12:30
Like a date with La Liga Loca, Barcelona’s encounter with Sevilla was only fun for two minutes. But at least the fans didn’t walk off promising to call the next day. Two minutes was how long it took for Pep’s Dream Boys to post their single-finger response...
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Wednesday 22 April 2009, 10:00
It was like putting up with nine hours of Jacqui Smith, only to be rewarded by seeing her being blasted into space, Emperor Ming style. The first half of the clash against Getafe at the Bernabeu was awful. Dire. Possibly the worst since the last league...
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Tuesday 21 April 2009, 10:00
Those go-getting fast-trackers running the Spanish league gave a good four days notice to the plebs and players of when they would be in footballing action this week, so everyone had better be ready. Incidentally, La Liga Loca would love to know how mild...
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Monday 20 April 2009, 09:00
GOOD DAY Ever Banega For an hour or so, it looked like being the 13th consecutive season that poor old Atleti would fail to win on their special ‘Day of the Fans’. It looked like going the same way of the ‘Day of the Children’ the fortnight before, an...
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Friday 17 April 2009, 09:00
Saturday Getafe (14th) vs Barcelona (1st) A light-headed La Liga Loca has to confess that it has been rubbing its hands on its cockles all week. But has always washed them after. After a month of unrelenting tedium at the top of the table, things are...
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Thursday 16 April 2009, 11:00
With three English teams having qualified for the semi-finals of the Champions League for the third season in a row, the Spanish press have taken a teeny time-out on Thursday to sniff out the chances of the one remaining local side for local people still...
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Wednesday 15 April 2009, 10:00
Having disappeared from the Bernabeu faster than the bullfight-barmy Sergio Ramos, blog über-hero Bernado Schuster has made a very welcome return to the Spanish spotlight after a four month absence. With the moustache having transformed itself into a...
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Monday 13 April 2009, 12:00
GOOD DAY Vladimir Stojkovic Having gone through more goalkeepers than a Seaman-obsessed old slapper, Getafe finally found the right man for the job on Sunday evening. Vlad the Impaler was between the posts in the Sánchez Pizjuán and helped the visitors...
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Friday 10 April 2009, 13:30
Saturday Barcelona (1st) vs Recreativo (18th) As well as wrestling with his own demons and the odd UEFA official, prickly Pep Guardiola now has to take on the familiar task of dampening down the fierce flames of expectation in the local Catalan press...
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Thursday 09 April 2009, 12:00
Perhaps it’s because there’s a bank holiday in Spain and La Liga Loca can hear birds singing (and coughing) rather than beeping and blaring from cranky commuters. Perhaps La Liga Loca is all giddied up over the thought of Semana Santa-celebrating, pointy...
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Wednesday 08 April 2009, 10:00
From La Liga Loca’s lofty perch in Atlético Madrid’s Vicente Calderón stadium, the blog is lucky enough to be able to gaze upon snow-capped mountains and the city’s royal palace. It can also enjoy the site of building works and a stinky, stagnant river...
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Tuesday 07 April 2009, 09:30
Sadly (unless you are an Atlético fan), there’s only nine matches of Primera fun left till the season grinds to a horrendous halt. But you can turn those frowns upside-down as there’s still plenty of time left for some sacrificial sackings by panic-stricken...
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Monday 06 April 2009, 12:00
GOOD DAY Armchair fans On Friday, a doom-mongering La Liga Loca feared a gaggle of match blackouts due to the increasingly petulant Great TV War. Instead, the complete opposite happened with almost every game being up for freebie grabs to Spain’s lucky...
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Friday 03 April 2009, 11:00
Saturday Recreativo (16th) vs Sevilla (3rd) La Liga Loca knows it. You know it. Heck, even master prediction-maker (still waiting for Pedja’s sacking, still waiting) Roberto Gómez knows it - Manolo Jiménez will be shot out of Sevilla’s footballing toaster...
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Thursday 02 April 2009, 10:00
Many, many moons ago, La Liga Loca declared itself as a candidate in the wacky race to be the next president of Real Madrid, to enormous global press interest. After weeks of wheeling and dealing, contemplating and conferring in dark smoky rooms, the...
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Wednesday 01 April 2009, 10:00
One of La Liga Loca’s proudest moments was when, armed only with Dick Cheney’s ‘Torture for Dummies’ and a hairdryer, it managed to get a former Marca writer to admit that the paper did indeed make almost all of its stories up. The squealing scribe ‘fessed...
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Tuesday 31 March 2009, 09:30
Despite the shocking news from commie daily Valencia Morning Star concerning the 895 percent increase in windscreen-cleaning squeegee merchants in the downtown area - all looking suspiciously like members of Valencia’s first team squad - the city’s football...
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Monday 30 March 2009, 09:00
“It was a great example of Madridismo!” Has all that toiling and tinkering, sweating and swearing in La Liga Loca’s basement finally paid off? “Madrid can write another glorious chapter!” Has its spanking new time machine transported the blog 150 years...
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Thursday 26 March 2009, 08:00
Today’s ramble through the wonderful world of La Liga is dedicated to the wasters and what-the-heck-happened? of this year’s Primera. The blog brings you an XI comprised of those players who simply aren’t cutting the mustard or not trying, those who can...
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Tuesday 24 March 2009, 10:00
Real Betis is normally known for shaky goings-on both on and off the pitch. And for playing in yukky Norwich green. The club is currently fighting their umpteenth battle against relegation, being fined on what seems to be a fortnightly basis for poor...
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Monday 23 March 2009, 11:00
GOOD DAY Freddie Kanouté It’s time to juice up the Jacuzzi, dim the lights and put on sexaaaay music. Early ‘Steps’ always gets La Liga Loca going on a Monday morning. Monday’s blog ramble simply has to open with another drooling love-fest over Freddie...
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Friday 20 March 2009, 11:00
Saturday Villarreal (4th) vs Athletic (13th) One of the best wheelers and dealers in the transfer market last summer was Villarreal - simply through their admirable achievement of beating off (not in the Ever Banega sense) big guns who were coveting their...
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Wednesday 18 March 2009, 10:00
Now that Real Madrid has skilfully managed to swerve all that pesky Champions League nonsense for another year, the club is able to turn its full attention to its favourite waste of time - bickering. The Robben vs Huntelaar rift on the pitch has been...
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Tuesday 17 March 2009, 09:00
The game in Spain is going through a decidedly bipolar phase in its existence. Its debt-ridden clubs owe a good 700m Euro to the tax man and zillions more to each other. The league champions were made into a laughing stock by Liverpool and its clubs barely...
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Monday 16 March 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Bojan Krkic By leaving Mad Sammy Eto’o and Thierry Henry on the bench and starting with Bojan Krkic, Pep Guardiola was placing his Catalan cojones in the hands of the press. Despite being a keen promoter of young culé talent, Pep has never had...
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Friday 13 March 2009, 10:00
Saturday Valencia (8th) vs Recreativo (14th) If Valencia VP sporting director thingy, Fernando Gómez, is contemplating a new career - something he’ll have to do in about three months anyway - then writing wonderful motivational books so beloved of airport...
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Wednesday 11 March 2009, 10:30
So, it appears the spirit of Juanito had something better to do on Tuesday night. Preparing some popcorn, perhaps, before settling down to watch Keanu Reeves action flick Spid , the film constantly - and the blog means constantly - being plugged by the...
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Tuesday 10 March 2009, 08:00
Being a Real Madrid player means that most of your waking days will involve being pestered by the press on urgent matters such as the greatness of Raúl and whether the club can still win the league. Or, if you are a media-whoring Iker Casillas, appearing...
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Monday 09 March 2009, 10:00
Results : ( Sunday ) Deportivo La Coruña 5-3 Racing Santander; Getafe 1-2 Málaga; Mallorca 3-3 Real Betis; Numancia 2-1 Valencia; Osasuna 1-2 Sporting Gijón; Recreativo Huelva 2-3 Real Valladolid; Sevilla 2-1 Almería. ( Saturday ) Barcelona 2-0 Athletic...
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Friday 06 March 2009, 10:00
Saturday Barcelona (1st) vs Athletic (11th) Brain-dead Spanish football busy bodies have now got a difficult dilemma on their dilettante hands. And that’s never a good thing, considering their current inability to handle kick-off times, competent referees...
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Wednesday 04 March 2009, 12:00
About three weeks ago, Barcelona’s voyage to the Balearics to take on Mallorca in the semi-final second leg of the Spanish Cup was set to be the creamiest of cakewalks, the lightest of snacks, heck, a match so easy-peasy that even Alexander Hleb would...
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Tuesday 03 March 2009, 10:00
The reason for La Liga Loca’s numerous literary and sporting awards, and the fact that is has been translated into 892 languages, is a very simple one. It is the blog’s mixture of admirable industry and bone-idle laziness. Every weekend, the airport-loving...
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Monday 02 March 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Guti It was with a tear in the eye when La Liga Loca read Guti’s declaration of intent in regards to his footballing future. The Madrid midfielder is set to head for somewhere ‘exotic’ in 2011, leaving the blog with just 823 days of lazy jokes...
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Friday 27 February 2009, 14:00
Saturday Athletic (9th) vs Sevilla (3rd) There’s nothing quite so infuriating as a Spanish grandmother or ‘abuela’. Rather than being friendly, fuzzy figures armed with sunbeam smiles, they are coffin-dodging old hags with the manners of a Premier League...
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Wednesday 25 February 2009, 10:00
Tuesday wasn’t the greatest of days in the glorious, award-strewn life of La Liga Loca. It suffered the maddest of moments by tipping Atlético Madrid for the last four of Europe’s top competition. After an admittedly entertaining evening spent in the...
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Tuesday 24 February 2009, 12:00
Now regular readers may think that La Liga Loca has been at the Tuesday turps again. Or has, rojiblanco club president, Enrique Cerezo threatening to strap the blog down in front of a movie he has produced. Nevertheless, it has a genuine, sneaky feeling...
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Monday 23 February 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Real Madrid Ding dong merrily on high, there may actually be something resembling a contest in La Liga this season after Saturday night’s nuttiness. It was an outstanding evening that evoked memories of the titillating title chase from two years...
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Friday 20 February 2009, 10:00
Saturday Barcelona (1st) vs Espanyol (20th) Joan ‘Joan’ Laporta’s ongoing Uzbek activity caused enough of a seedy stir in Barcelona for the King of Catalunya to come down off his throne and explain away his Tashkent tales. Earlier in the week, El Mundo...
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Wednesday 18 February 2009, 10:30
Long-suffering readers of the blog will be aware that the Spock-like daily has no time for sickly sentimentality or ugly emotions. Its bottom lip didn’t even come close to wobbling last week, when Guti tied his own shoelaces for the first time and Jesus...
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Tuesday 17 February 2009, 10:00
Quite a few things in the game in Spain make La Liga Loca scratch its head. More often than not, it's the fleas picked up from its latest visit to the Vicente Calderón. The Starship Troopers-sized bugs now living in the main stand loos just make the...
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Monday 16 February 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Víctor Valdés The other day, the Satanic singer from Maroon 5 popped up on La Liga Loca’s TV and the blog was reminded of the fact that the smug-faced so-and-so could write the modern equivalent of ‘Hey Jude’ but still be worthy of being hung...
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Friday 13 February 2009, 10:00
Saturday Deportivo (8th) vs Osasuna (17th) Now, La Liga Loca doesn’t mean to start the latest edition of its regular Friday ramble on a big old downer. But, Merciful Zeus, is this weekend’s serving of silage the worst set of fixtures ever? Or at least...
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Thursday 12 February 2009, 09:00
Spain’s superb 29-match unbeaten run began some two years ago with a 1-0 win over England, and continued last night with what was a fairly comfortable 2-0 victory at a sprightly Sánchez Pizjuán in Seville. However, the win over the ‘pross’ – La Liga Loca...
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Wednesday 11 February 2009, 11:30
It’s relatively rare to be invited to a Spaniard’s home to be entertained. And with good reason too, considering it makes more sense for your Tupperware parties to take place in a tapas bar where they are fairly liberal on drumstick dropping and bone...
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Tuesday 10 February 2009, 11:00
In a mega-testosterone, time-warped environment when a team can be the bestest of all time in the morning and a big pile of poo come nightfall, three weeks in La Liga is a very, very long time indeed. But that’s about how long Vicente Boluda has been...
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Monday 09 February 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Mad Sammy Eto’o “We’re all quite fed up,” complained the crestfallen presenter on Telemadrid’s football round-up show on Sunday evening. “Barcelona keep on winning.” If their remarkable streak achieves nothing more than annoy the heck out one...
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Friday 06 February 2009, 11:00
Saturday Real Madrid (2nd) vs Racing (10th) This week, Fabio Capello decided to pin a plug to his nose, remove his brain and subject himself to a thorough probing by Marca – a probing that involved a thousand questions on the brilliance of Raúl. And the...
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Wednesday 04 February 2009, 11:00
“I can’t liiiveeeeeee, if living is without youuuuu.....!!!!!!” As La Liga Loca writes this, it is sitting and sobbing in a flat surrounded by more stuffed trunks than a herd of binge-eating elephants. “I can’t liiiivveeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!” The blubbering...
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Tuesday 03 February 2009, 10:00
The Spanish second division used to be a bit rubbish, although a sniffy L’Equipe claims that it still is by branding the BBVA sponsored barndance the fourth worst second tier of Europe’s big five, based on quality of players, attendances and crispiness...
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Monday 02 February 2009, 12:00
Good Day Queen Latifa La Liga Loca came THAT close to writing the name “Riki!!!” before realising that the blog’s already rock-bottom credibility would drop even further with such an act. Instead, it’s Deportivo’s Angel Lafita who is given pride of place...
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Friday 30 January 2009, 11:00
Saturday Athletic (10th) vs Málaga (7th) Imagine for one miserable moment that those scandalously high Telefonica bills were getting a little bit too much for you. Imagine you had flogged your super-duper, love-of-your-life plasma TV to your friend to...
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Thursday 29 January 2009, 13:00
La Liga Loca can’t honestly remember what film it was in now (although it’s got a funny feeling it was Speed, conjuring up once again images of Sandra Bullock’s smooth, dark leg pumping away at that accelerator, grrr!) But for some reason the phrase ...
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Thursday 29 January 2009, 10:00
“President Florentino” boasted Marca ’s headline on Tuesday as it detailed a poll commissioned by the paper that made the Bernabeu bottler the most popular candidate for members with a 62.9 percent of the vote. “The Real Madrid members have made it clear...
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Wednesday 28 January 2009, 11:00
If you have a high tolerance for flamenco-based sonic torture and incomprehensible accents, then a spell in the city of Seville is the most fun you can have aside from a date with Deportivo. Unless you happen to be managing the city’s two main football...
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Tuesday 27 January 2009, 10:00
Football is one of the few sports that both the ‘anglosajón’ English and Spaniards both share a big love for. Of the other candidates, motor racing only became popular when the brooding figure of Fernando Alonso entered the scene, although you’d think...
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Monday 26 January 2009, 10:00
GOOD DAY Leo Messi A mischievous Madrid press may have forced the outstanding Argentinean into an unnecessary bout of ‘I love the club, me’ badge-kissing - and there’ll be more on that little saga coming soon - but for now let’s give the little fella...
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Friday 23 January 2009, 10:00
Saturday Villarreal (5th) vs Osasuna (20th) Osasuna president, Patxi Izco appears to be a genuinely likeable old duffer. After firing Cuco Ziganda earlier this season, he confessed that it was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do in his life...
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Wednesday 21 January 2009, 10:00
When Samuel Eto’o slotted his easy-peasy penalty past, Deportivo midfielder, Juan Rodríguez for his side’s fifth on Saturday night, the glucose solution in the juddering jar at the offices of Sport started to boil and bubble. “Oh no,” panicked the editor...
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Tuesday 20 January 2009, 10:00
To celebrate the end of the first half of the latest campaign of craziness in La Liga, the blog has decided to display a thumping lack of originality and imagination with an alternative XI of the season so far. A ‘best-of’ would be a fairly simple task...
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Monday 19 January 2009, 11:30
GOOD DAY Málaga One of the biggest regrets of La Liga Loca’s season so far is the limited opportunities being offered up for the pee-taking of the increasingly injury-prone Guti. That and the fact that it has not been able to watch a marvellous Málaga...
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Friday 16 January 2009, 12:00
Saturday Barcelona (1st) vs Deportivo (7th) Joan Laporta’s dastardly plan to expand his evil empire from Catalunya to the rest of the globe had been going rather well. Football fans all over the world are throwing petals before the fancy feet of the Barcelona...
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Wednesday 14 January 2009, 13:00
Marca ’s furious pounding at the gates of Castle Greyskull means that everything has changed in snowy Spain. Everything. Up is now down, right is now wrong and Andy & Lucas are the new Lennon and McCartney The slew of slurry that has been hurled over...
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Tuesday 13 January 2009, 13:00
Marca editor Eduardo Inda must have been a trifle tense on Monday night. And this had little to do with the fact that Captain Fantastic (Raúl) didn't exactly feature heavily in the FIFA World Player awards – making Tuesday’s copy a trifle tricky....
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Monday 12 January 2009, 11:00
GOOD DAY Barcelona When La Liga Loca suggested on Friday that Barça would drop points against a prickly Osasuna in Pamplona , there were some dubious doubters who scoffed and snickered at such a concept. In fact, the blog is now more than a little concerned...
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Friday 09 January 2009, 12:00
Saturday Deportivo (6th) vs Sevilla (4th) For the opening instalment of the weekend predictions, La Liga Loca must come over all early 90’s Ben Elton with a little bit of politics. There has been a fair smattering of coverage in Spain over Freddie Kanouté...
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Wednesday 07 January 2009, 10:00
Opposition fans offering a standing ovation to honour the brilliance of visiting players is unusual in football, but not unheard of. Ronaldo at Old Trafford, Ronaldinho in the Bernabeu, Pablo Couñago against Bury St Edmonds are just a few examples. But...
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Tuesday 06 January 2009, 12:00
If the clowns running the show at Real Madrid were going to make a complete and utter balls-up described by a finger-wagging AS as ‘unforgivable’ and Johan Cruyff as ‘an enormous mistake’ then their timing could not have been any better. Although the...
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Monday 05 January 2009, 12:00
GOOD DAY Deportivo It’s been a troubling start to 2009 for La Liga Loca. The blog returned from foreign parts to find an odd smell of an unknown source in the kitchen and the deeply troubling concept that it might have to take Deportivo seriously now...
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Monday 29 December 2008, 11:30
Putting up with players “I’ve seen Jurassic Park 15 times. My favourite is the Velociraptor.” – Former Mallorca midfielder Jonas Gutierrez, was so fond of big extinct beasties, he moved to Newcastle to spend more time with them. “He couldn’t get back...
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Monday 22 December 2008, 12:00
GOOD DAY Osasuna “They deserve to end the year with a bit of happiness,” grinned, Osasuna coach, José Antonio Camacho after his side’s 5-2 spanking of Getafe. Unfortunately, the result is likely to be a fortuitous fluke rather than the shape of things...
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Friday 19 December 2008, 11:00
BREAKING NEWS.... BREAKING NEWS....BREAKING NEWS..... In the Champions League draw on Friday morning, Villarreal and Atlético Madrid have been landed Panathinaikos and Porto respectively... the two club’s Real Madrid were desperate to get. Real Madrid...
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Wednesday 17 December 2008, 11:00
Before we kick off, it’s best to mention that this isn’t a story in regards to a midnight misdemeanour from saucy Sergio, so the FourFourTwo lawyers can wipe away the coffee that has just been sprayed over their monitors. Instead, it’s the traditional...
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Tuesday 16 December 2008, 10:00
La Liga Loca is breathing a big old sigh of relief, today. It’s a terrific Tuesday filled with peace and goodwill to everyone. Even Deportivo. But not Betis, mind. Not only have Penelope and her sister left the penthouse after an exhausting weekend, but...
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Monday 15 December 2008, 10:00
GOOD DAY Víctor Valdés It’s high time La Liga Loca paid its dues to the one player that even the most barmy of Barça fans would still see swiftly swapped for an Iker Casillas-shaped shot stopper, if the chance ever came up. Valdés’s clean sheet on Saturday...
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Friday 12 December 2008, 12:00
Saturday Valencia (3rd) vs Espanyol (18th) It would seem that the players and staff at the Mestalla are going to have their stockings filled by Santa this Christmas after all. Only the ones who have been good, mind. Which leaves about two. Having had...
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Thursday 11 December 2008, 17:00
La Liga Loca is hanging its head in shame this evening, readers. And not just because it’s sitting in a rubbish Irish pub in Madrid penning this here blog - and not even being rock and roll enough to do it on the back of a beer mat. Instead, La Liga Loca...
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Wednesday 10 December 2008, 11:00
Over the years, La Liga Loca has found a number of varied uses for the likes of Marca and AS . Lining the bottom of hamster cages and clearing up sick of contrasting consistencies have been two handy household applications. But they more than serve their...
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Tuesday 09 December 2008, 10:00
When Atlético wheezed and panted their way into fourth place and the Champions League last season, their passport-waving fans must have imagined for several blissful moments that the new campaign would be all muffins in Milan and lager in London. Along...
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Monday 08 December 2008, 09:30
GOOD DAY Recreativo Those crazy folk on the blog who have been noting that Recreativo are not as rubbish as their lowly position suggested - the reverse situation currently being enjoyed by Deportivo - can slap themselves on the back, as they have been...
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Friday 05 December 2008, 14:00
Saturday Sporting (10th) vs Atlético Madrid (6th) La Liga Loca wouldn’t be at all surprised if rojiblanco fans witness Maniche transforming from a cake-obsessed caterpillar into a beautiful footballing butterfly over the next few weeks. That’s because...
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Friday 05 December 2008, 09:30
There is a reason why Real Madrid presented Klaas-Jan Huntelaar at the Santiago Bernabéu on Thursday, hurriedly crow-barring him in before the weekend. And it’s nothing to do with Ruud van Nistelrooy’s dodgy knee, Raúl’s creeping age, or the fact that...
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Wednesday 03 December 2008, 11:00
In general, La Liga Loca is very, very easily pleased. As with Guti, a particularly colourful plastic bag is enough to grab its attention for hours on end. Just the other day, it had to put something down it was reading (well, colouring in) after an advert...
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Tuesday 02 December 2008, 10:00
Running a football club in Spain can be an incredibly costly business. The daily delivery of premium ham to get the directors through those boring board meetings. The five-star foreign trips to sign deals on foundation schools that are never heard of...
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Monday 01 December 2008, 13:30
Results Getafe 3 - 1 Real Madrid; Sevilla 0 - 3 Barcelona; Athletic Bilbao 2 - 0 Numancia; Atletico Madrid 4 - 1 Racing Santander; Espanyol 0- 1 Sporting Gijón; Malaga 4 - 2 Osasuna; Recreativo Huelva 1 - 2 Villarreal; Real Valladolid CF 3 - 0 Mallorca;...
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Friday 28 November 2008, 10:00
Saturday Getafe (14th) vs Real Madrid (2nd) When Gabriel Heinze knacked his leg standing on a rake carelessly left lying around the club’s training pitches, the clumsy Argentine sustained Madrid’s 21st major injury in just four measly months. The defender...
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Wednesday 26 November 2008, 11:00
La Liga Loca woke up this frosty Wednesday morning feeling very excited indeed. Penelope had left nice and early for her film set, leaving the blog to lie back and contemplate the upcoming experience of going to a game of football without the inconvenience...
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Tuesday 25 November 2008, 09:00
As Ramón Calderón wandered the room with microphone in hand, like a stinky stand-up comedian playing a dinner-dance in Doncaster, he realised that things weren’t going to plan. “You’ve been a great audience. No really, you have. Please take care when...
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Monday 24 November 2008, 10:00
GOOD DAY Valladolid Whilst some clubs have battened down the hatches and adopted the foetal position during the Sevilla-Barça-Madrid-Villarreal death race, Valladolid decided to seize the day, dangle their footballing tackle in the air and having a pop...
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Friday 21 November 2008, 10:00
Saturday Real Madrid (4th) vs Recreativo (19th) Even by Ramón Calderón’s magnificent standards, it has been quite a week for the increasingly potty Real Madrid president. The Bernabeu bigwig decided to face the club’s ‘mini crisis’ in time-honoured tradition...
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Wednesday 19 November 2008, 10:00
Are you tired of working for The Spanish Man? Have you been worn down by the daily grind of getting up at 10am, having breakfast, the second breakfast, the four-hour meeting, the long boozy lunch and the journey home at 5pm? Then prepare to give your...
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Tuesday 18 November 2008, 10:00
When a team’s square-jawed, super-duper, fans’ favourite forward ends up with a knee knack or a gammy groin, there are several ways for a club to deal with the unfortunate occurrence. The most popular approach is to give the sickly striker the finest...
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Monday 17 November 2008, 12:00
Good Day Sporting La Liga Loca spent Saturday night injecting bleach into its eyeballs in a desperate attempt to banish the images of the Valladolid vs Real Madrid match from its brain, so missed out on this corker at the Mestalla. Sporting’s swashbuckling...
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Friday 14 November 2008, 13:00
Saturday Valladolid (16th) vs Real Madrid (4th) The current 'Schuster out!' head-for-the-hills, scapegoat hunt is extremely entertaining fare. But it’s a mere ‘Disaster Movie’ sized lump of fun compared to the lunacy that will be served up during...
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Wednesday 12 November 2008, 11:30
Tomás Roncero, Wednesday November 12. “Another glorious hat-trick from Raúl made it 300 goals in the pristine white shirt of Real Madrid for our Captain Courageous - the shirt that stands for peace and love, puppy dogs and kittens, ham and sangria! Three...
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Tuesday 11 November 2008, 11:00
There is a chance, faithful reader, that some of you may not be around tomorrow to read another daily dose of lies, more lies and the odd statistic. Indeed, there’s a possibility that La Liga Loca won’t be here to write it. The great circle of life dictates...
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Monday 10 November 2008, 12:30
Good Day Barcelona, Real Madrid Yes, Barcelona continue with their Ming-the-Merciless style maulings of opponents. And yes, Real Madrid continue to be somewhat lucky in their ability to grind out results when playing poorly. But so what? As one pertinent...
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Friday 07 November 2008, 11:30
Saturday Real Madrid (3rd) vs Malaga (8th) As the Spanish top flight moves into round 10, it’s high time for a wee catch-up with the latest ‘club in crisis’ count. According to the sporting press it’s the sorry-looking sextet of Osasuna, Athletic, Numancia...
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Thursday 06 November 2008, 15:00
Describing Spain’s sports press as a little bit myopic would be like accusing Nelson of having a slight squint. Biased aint the half of it. Everything, but everything, gets seen through the media’s very own special club-coloured kaleidoscope, evidence...
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Wednesday 05 November 2008, 11:28
When Martin Hansson – or ‘the Swede’, as many papers are spitting on Wednesday morning, as if his nationality was relevant in some way – signalled for a penalty against Atlético described on Radio 5 as ‘the softest’, La Liga Loca had a funny feeling that...
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Tuesday 04 November 2008, 10:20
Last Thursday, barmy Barcelona president Joan ‘Joan’ Laporta was slumped on his throne, in the deepest darkest corner of the Kingdom Cataluyna. Poor Joan was not a happy bunny. Stroking the trigger of his PinSat laser deathray, he chuckled as he reflected...
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Monday 03 November 2008, 12:01
GOOD DAY Sporting This is why la Liga’s truly inspired plan of everyone playing Sevilla, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Villarreal in a row is the most ludicrous footballing concept since Christoph Metzelder. Earlier this season, Sporting were smeared across...
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Friday 31 October 2008, 10:00
Saturday Málaga (6th) vs Barcelona (2nd) You’d have thought that Barcelona’s weasley, measly 1-0 away win at Brit-packed Benidorm in the Copa del Rey might have raised an eyebrow or two of concern in the Pep-crazy Catalan press. Well, if you hadn’t spent...
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Wednesday 29 October 2008, 14:30
For a few soiling seconds on Tuesday evening, La Liga Loca had the experience of how it must feel to be a Manchester United fan. And what a very disturbing moment it was, too. That needed much scrubbing. The root cause of this sorry sensation were the...
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Tuesday 28 October 2008, 10:00
The one factor that unites Real Madrid, Athletic Bilbao and Barcelona - aside from notoriously touchy fans - is their presidential system of management. Every few years in the lives of these three democratic lighthouses, an election is demanded by the...
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Monday 27 October 2008, 11:00
Good Day Barcelona Now that was just dog-darn purty football. Poor Almería didn’t stand a burger’s chance in Maniche’s fridge in a first half 5-0 pummelling where they were befuddled and bewildered by Barça’s constant three-pronged poking. The most important...
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Friday 24 October 2008, 10:00
Saturday Osasuna (19th) vs Betis (16th) My Best Bullfighting Bunk-ups - In a Saturday night spectacular, Spain’s favourite uber-lipped celebrity slapper, Belén Esteban, discusses her favourite fornications with manly matadors. Desert Island Discs - In...
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Wednesday 22 October 2008, 14:00
La Liga Loca (ouch) has experienced (ouch) two new sensations this week. The first was being stung by (ouch) a wasp, on its favourite typing (ouch) finger which makes (ouch) writing quite (ouch) painful. But it is ploughing ahead and taking one for the...
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Tuesday 21 October 2008, 10:26
Like bankers getting bonuses or mortgage-brokers holidaying in the Bahamas, there are some financially-flushed folk out there in Planet Football who simply don’t realise that cash-splashing has gone the way of pensions and savings in the fashion stakes...
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Monday 20 October 2008, 12:00
Good Day Víctor Valdés “It was him and 10 others,” beamed Pep Guardiola as he patted the panting goal-conceding guardian on the head after Barcelona’s gritty, grinding win over Athletic Bilbao. It was the first clean sheet for Valdés in the league this...
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Friday 17 October 2008, 11:00
Saturday Atlético (7th) vs Real Madrid (5th) Whilst a hellish hullaballoo has been hovering over Atleti’s home all week, the massive Real Madrid media machine has been humming away, continuing its campaign to make sure it’s Iker Casillas’ claws that clutch...
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Thursday 16 October 2008, 10:00
There’s trouble in paradise. All is not well at La Liga Loca ’s little lovenest. In fact, La Liga Loca came home this afternoon to find its clothes in a suitcase on the front lawn, its dinner in the dog and its Millennium Falcon in the bin. With all bits...
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Wednesday 15 October 2008, 11:00
The Spanish press reaction to the roof caving in on poor old Atlético’s world - not that much of the Vicente Calderón has a roof, mind - could have appeared in one of three ways on Wednesday. a) a thoughtful investigation into why UEFA decided to take...
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Tuesday 14 October 2008, 11:00
For what seems like a very, very, very long time now, Atlético Madrid have been promising purposefully to break with the painful past and move away from the crumbling, creaking Vicente Calderón to the... er... crumbling, creaking La Peineta stadium. The...
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Monday 13 October 2008, 13:00
La Liga Loca is now completely convinced that when the international break comes along, the holiday-happy editorial teams of the Spanish footballing press head for the hills and are replaced by a herd of goats with basic literacy skills. An improvement...
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Thursday 09 October 2008, 11:00
‘Doomed! We’re all doomed” - shrieked La Liga Loca as it popped into its corner newspaper kiosk on Thursday morning. As this is a regular occurrence in the blog’s daily routine, the other patrons were unimpressed by this outrageous outburst and continued...
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Wednesday 08 October 2008, 11:00
Six rounds of La Liga lunacy was all it took for the first panicking Primera president to crack and kick out his coach. And the winner of this season’s prestigious 'Juan Soler itchy trigger finger’ trophy is Francisco Mendoza. As well as sharing the...
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Tuesday 07 October 2008, 10:00
There’s been some soul searching down the Vicente Calderón over the past few days after Atlético’s somewhat lacklustre performance against Barcelona on Saturday night. And this puts club president Enrique Cerezo at a slight disadvantage considering his...
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Monday 06 October 2008, 08:00
Good Day Leo Messi If there is a better footballer out there, at this very magic moment in time, then La Liga Loca will eat its hat. Oh yes, it will. It was a stupidly good performance on Saturday night to give the once over to a pathetico Atlético and...
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Friday 03 October 2008, 13:30
Saturday Villarreal (2nd) vs Betis (18th) In the same way that seven dog years supposedly equates to 12 months of a human lifespan, 24 hours in Spain works out as roughly 700 years in the rest of the world. Despite having an entire summer to sort out...
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Thursday 02 October 2008, 18:00
They say that if you get 1000 monkeys to bash away at 1000 typewriters, they’d eventually come up with the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Now, obviously “they” say a lot of things – and most of it’s complete balls. But La Liga Loca ’s prepared to believe...
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Wednesday 01 October 2008, 11:45
For the past couple of seasons, Betis majority shareholder and imperial overlord Darth de Lopera has been a bit of a tease. On a number of occasions he has flirted with the idea of selling off his stake – in the non-vampire sense of the world – and swanning...
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Tuesday 30 September 2008, 10:00
Sometimes a bile-letting bout of finger-pointing and blame-gaming can be both a useful and entertaining exercise. After all, the Jack Bauer side to La Liga Loca doesn’t think there has been nearly enough cattle-prod poking of those responsible for the...
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Monday 29 September 2008, 12:00
Good Day Malaga The weekend didn't start too well for manic Malaga down on the Costa del Crime. First off, club owner and former Real Madrid president Lorenzo Sanz was caught by the Fuzz whilst involved in allegedly dodgy financial dealings with some...
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Friday 26 September 2008, 12:00
Real Betis (17th) vs Real Madrid (3rd) A few months ago Rámon Calderón was babbling about mysterious types lurking in the shadows who were out to get him. Which is perhaps the only thing he will ever have in common with Guti. Apart from the fact that...
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Wednesday 24 September 2008, 11:00
Wednesday Barcelona (9th) vs Betis (16th) If Barcelona fans were already mopping their brows in relief after their six goal-gazzumping of Sporting, then they must be throwing their hats in the air like extras in Chariots of Fire over the latest news that...
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Tuesday 23 September 2008, 11:10
These days, Guti isn’t the only Real Madrid player nervously looking over his shoulder in anticipation of someone giving him a good going-over. His team captain is, too – but it won’t be coming from a bonkers boxer . In the wonderful world of Spanish...
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Monday 22 September 2008, 12:45
GOOD DAY Pep Guardiola See, it was all about the sweaters. Rather than lounging around on the touchline dressed like a posh boy (or pijo , as the tribe is known in Spain) on a Sunday stroll through Madrid’s barrio Salamanca, Pep opted for a Marks and...
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Friday 19 September 2008, 15:00
Friday afternoons, eh? Don't you just love them? Every other bugger in the office has sloped off early and you're all alone, just staring at the clock, trying to wile away the final couple of hours, determined not to start anything really new...
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Friday 19 September 2008, 11:00
Saturday Atlético Madrid vs Recreativo Due to a joint-gesticulating rojiblanco fan smoking a jazz cigarette the size of Belgium, La Liga Loca - along with the surrounding eight rows - only has fuzzy memories of last season’s Recreativo clash in the Calderón...
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Wednesday 17 September 2008, 11:00
On Tuesday, the panic levels of the Catalan press were that of a fainting and flustered Victorian spinster faced with a very naked and very drunk David Hasslehoff. The following day, the feelings of fear had subsided enough to resemble the mild discomfort...
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Tuesday 16 September 2008, 11:00
When Michael Laudrup first arrived at Getafe last year, the macho men of the Spanish media were very much with the man-crush, bewitched by his winning smile, perfect teeth and luxuriant, soft hair. Except the lie-detecting La Liga Loca , of course, who...
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Monday 15 September 2008, 12:00
BAD DAY Pep Guardiola Yet again in Spain, there has been a great deal of talk over tactics and Barça’s current love of fannying about in front of goal. But yet again, everyone is barking up the wrong footballing tree. Barça’s rather flaccid footballing...
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Monday 15 September 2008, 10:00
La Liga Loca ’s inaugural Super Spot the Difference competition was such a rip-roaring success that we’ve decided to do it all over again. And this time the prize is even better than ever. We’ve giving away 45,000 tickets for the Camp Nou*, safe in the...
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Friday 12 September 2008, 13:00
Saturday Valladolid vs Atlético Madrid Right. La Liga Loca is putting its slightly manky club foot down. It cannae take any more. Already jiggery and jittery over the universe ending, England looking good and Marca writing nice things about Lewis Hamilton...
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Wednesday 10 September 2008, 10:00
La Liga Loca is sitting on a sneaky suspicion that the editor of Barcelona-based Mundo Deportivo may still be resting his Catalan cockles on the beach. After all, Spain dug up another Saint’s day skive this week just to allow the populace to recover from...
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Tuesday 09 September 2008, 16:00
At the beginning of September there is a fun tradition in Spain to speculate on the hot topic of when, Atlético Madrid manager, Javier Aguirre will be sacked by his trigger happy bosses, what method they will employ in doing so and who will be the unfortunate...
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Monday 08 September 2008, 10:28
"Tick, tock, tick, tock...” La Liga Loca had itself a big old alarm clock running, last week. “Tick tock, tick, tock...” An alarm clock charged with keeping a beady mechanical eye on how long it would take after the closure of the transfer window...
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Friday 05 September 2008, 10:46
Like Ever Banega when his internet connection cuts out just as he has started to get going, as it were, the Spanish football fan has been left limp and lifeless by the underwhelming arrival of another international week. After just one week of thrills...
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Wednesday 03 September 2008, 09:55
La Liga Loca read with some astonishment this week that moo-cows tend to stand in a north to south direction. It seems that the ability to sense the Earth’s magnetic poles is embedded into their tiny, Guti-like brains. By coincidence, the ability to sense...
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Tuesday 02 September 2008, 10:43
In the end 40 million had a rather pleasing symmetry to it. That was the amount of cash – in Euros – that Man City dumped into the Bernabeu backyard for the whining services of Robinho. That's the amount of broken promises Ramón Calderón is due to...
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Monday 01 September 2008, 16:00
Bad Day Bernd Schuster Big Bernado stopped answering La Liga Loca ’s texts a while back. There’s only so long someone can tolerate “Drop Raúl! DROP HIM! DROP HIM!” popping up on their phone 50 times a day. The blog feels like texting him again to invite...
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Friday 29 August 2008, 12:00
Saturday Espanyol vs Valladolid Where better to kick off a sparkly new season that at the most beautiful, scenic stadium in the whole of southern Europe, if not the planet - the Montjuic. Unfortunately, the bleak, concrete carbuncle nature of the stray...
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Thursday 28 August 2008, 16:00
Back when La Liga Loca was just a nipper, a mere squiggle scrawled on the kitchen floor with a crayon rather than the fully-fledged, typed- out-on-a-computer-and-everything uberblog that it is these days, it used to like doing Spot the Difference puzzles...
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Thursday 28 August 2008, 12:00
Merciful Zeus! Atlético Madrid have done it! La Liga Loca can finally pack their lunch box, hand over the bus fare and wave at them from its front door wiping tears from its eyes. The rojiblancos are going out into the Big Wide World. The rojiblancos...
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Wednesday 27 August 2008, 09:52
If La Liga Loca ’s employers demanded hot-as-a-hamburger-in-hell breaking news and informed, accurate musings on the wonderful world of Spanish football, then it would be in serious do-do. In fact, it would be packing its bluffer’s guide to lazy national...
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Tuesday 26 August 2008, 10:00
A Night of Glory and Magic - by AS ’s Tomas Roncero* (*not technically true) For three dark months my soul has been as bleak and pointless as a life without ham. Or Don Alfredo di Stefano. May angels sing his name for all eternity. It was like Satan himself...
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Monday 25 August 2008, 12:00
Having snored through much of the Olympic football tournament in a ‘Kun-confused’ state, according to the pun-loving Argentine press, Sergio Agüero finally came to his senses on Tuesday by popping up with a couple of goals to dispose of the Brazilians...
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Thursday 21 August 2008, 12:24
In many ways, Real Madrid’s decision to permanently block journalists’ access to their players after training should be seen as a blessing in disguise for the Spanish footballing press. After all, as Marca ’s Roberto Gómez puts it, the club is merely...
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Wednesday 20 August 2008, 15:00
‘Scribble, scratch, scribble’. Today, La Liga Loca is writing a letter. ‘Scratch, scribble, scratch.” Something it hasn’t done in years. La Liga Loca is writing a letter to the Spanish FA, as they have probably never heard of e-mail. Or the internet....
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Tuesday 19 August 2008, 12:00
La Liga Loca smelt something in the air this morning. At first it thought it might be the whiff of wee coming from the local plaza, which also doubles as a toilet for Sangria-soaked winos. But it seems that the blog can sniff a transfer scoop floating...
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Monday 18 August 2008, 13:04
La Liga Loca had a bit of an epiphany on Saturday. During the five minutes it caught of a dire-looking pre-season friendly between Athletic Bilbao and Villarreal, it realised something quite extraordinary. The blog doesn't like the Yellow Submarine...
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Friday 15 August 2008, 13:00
If Marca have got their facts right, for once - and let's face it, it's up there with Guti joining a book club in likely events - then it could be a highly entertaining weekend in Real Madrid's wacky world. According to the pretend paper,...
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Wednesday 13 August 2008, 22:00
There’s just no pleasing some people sometimes... and that includes La Liga Loca . Ramón Calderón has done the sensible thing and sacked freak-show Bernabéu PA announcer Arturo Sisó, the man that La Liga Loca really, really hates; the man La Liga Loca...
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Wednesday 13 August 2008, 14:00
Twelve fun-filled months in the life of Atlético Madrid manager Javier Aguirre are about to be stomped on and squashed into 180 minutes of frenetic football. On Wednesday night, the rojiblancos kick off part one of their terrifying tussle against Schalke...
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Tuesday 12 August 2008, 11:29
Once upon a time, La Liga Loca came across a poor desperate soul who used to work for Marca . And very ashamed he was about it, too. This now ex-Madrid propaganda spouting minion revealed what most people have suspected all along - that the paper just...
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Monday 11 August 2008, 14:03
With three, long, painful weeks to go to the start of the footie season, the Spanish sporty press have gone Olympic Games crazy. And frankly Mr Shankly, who can blame them? Instead of filling their front covers with the wholly tedious and mercifully short...
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Friday 08 August 2008, 15:18
It isn't often you see a Spanish club president out on a training field - except if it's to rip his manager a new one or if there are free biscuits going. Most are too wheezy and sleazy to beat a path from either the boardroom buffet or restaurant...
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Thursday 07 August 2008, 15:30
Two themes have dominated the news agenda in Spain over the past few weeks. One has been the weather. The other has been Cristiano Ronaldo. The first is nothing unusual. Every summer, with the thudding inevitability of an Atlético Madrid Champions League...
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Wednesday 06 August 2008, 14:00
Rafael Van der Vaart was presented as Real Madrid’s “first and only” signing of the summer yesterday and everyone, but everyone, was thinking about the same thing: His wife. And now La Liga Loca ’s doing exactly the same. In fact, today La Liga Loca ...
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Tuesday 05 August 2008, 12:04
Having promised to pack his team with the finest young Spanish talent available, Real Madrid president Ramón Calderón has continued his great Iberian initiative by recruiting Rafael van der Vaart from Hamburg - the side's fifth Dutch player. And this...
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Monday 04 August 2008, 18:00
"Hey you! Yeah, you! You with the girl's name! Wuss!" La Liga Loca has started the day with a couple of shandies and is feeling feisty. "Yellow belly! Cowardy Custard! Bottler!" The blog has spotted Joan Laporta - well, an imaginary...
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Monday 04 August 2008, 13:00
Never let it be said that Real Madrid’s pom-pom donning, axe-wielding cheerleaders-turned-hatchet-men Marca and AS don’t put in the leg-work in their pursuit of a story (and for “story” read “party line”) This week they’ve been in Manchester and London...
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Friday 01 August 2008, 15:30
Atlético Madrid have had it up to here with being everyone's footballing butt monkeys. Oh yes. No more comedy last minute defeats. No more Spiderman goalkeeping outfits. And no more 'Pupas' - the infamous cloud of bad luck and gloom that is...
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Thursday 31 July 2008, 14:07
For those La Liga Loca regulars who had "two weeks" in the blog's "how soon into the pre-season will Bernd Schuster blow his stack" sweepstake, then congratulations, you now possess riches beyond your wildest dreams. You could...
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Wednesday 30 July 2008, 15:30
After what feels like decades of speculation from Sport and Mundo Deportivo concerning Mad Sammy Eto'o being replaced by Adebayor / Berbatov / Zlatan / Chipper from Operación Triunfo it seems that, like Fernando Gago taking a shot, both papers may...
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Tuesday 29 July 2008, 12:11
One of the chirpiest clubs to be found in La Liga these days is Espanyol. And that's somewhat surprising considering that very little appears to have changed at the Catalan club over the summer aside from, former coach, Ernesto Valverde heading to...
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Monday 28 July 2008, 12:25
The island-dwelling people of the Balearics are already accustomed to lobster-skinned, barfing, brawling British types ruling their roost for much of the year, thanks to Easyjet and co. But it appears that fans of Mallorca are going to have to get used...
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Friday 25 July 2008, 19:51
The last time La Liga Loca sticky-beaked its way into Valencia's odious affairs, a good 10 days ago, a period of stability and sanity was being promised by all those resident in the Mestalla madhouse. But, as is tradition in this most peculiar of...
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Wednesday 16 July 2008, 13:59
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, they say. Now, La Liga Loca hasn’t got a clue what that actually means. But it’s not going to, oh no sir. You can accuse us of going for easy targets all you like, you can say it’s not fair to drag up the past, and...
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Tuesday 15 July 2008, 12:42
Wherever you are in the world - even if it's Lincolnshire - you're probably having a chirpier summer than poor old ducking and covering Barcelona bigwig, Joan Laporta. The lobster-like La Liga Loca , for one, has been spending the sticky season...
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Monday 14 July 2008, 12:24
So, Sepp Blatter thinks that Cristiano Ronaldo is a slave and – more importantly – that Manchester United should stop flipping well whinging and let him go and join Real Madrid. Which poses a question: Is this the same Sepp Blatter who is an honorary...
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Wednesday 25 June 2008, 12:28
Now that the sultry stickiness of the Spanish summer has finally landed like a sweat-filled piano, it's high time for the good people of Andalusia to take up their favourite pastimes - intensive thumb twiddling and illegally reclassifying public land...
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Tuesday 24 June 2008, 13:06
July 7 is shaping up to be a thrilling day in the worlds of both Real Madrid and Barcelona. According to the current rumblings in the Spanish press - coming from that teeny, tiny, work experience run section not obsessed with Euro 2008 - it's set...
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Thursday 19 June 2008, 11:43
La Liga Loca has not been to the water-starved city of Barcelona for a while but it can only imagine that its pickpocket-invested streets are full of cranky culés with faces longer than Ruud van Nistelrooy on a caravanning holiday with Marco van Basten...
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Tuesday 17 June 2008, 19:00
Stung by criticism that last season's Copa del Rey final was seen as a bit of an afterthought by the Spanish FA - and, indeed, by most of the clubs taking part in it - the buffet-loving bigwigs have moved swiftly to award it pride of place in La Liga's...
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Tuesday 17 June 2008, 07:48
Not so very long ago, they were getting all excited down El Mundo Deportivo ’s way, screaming from the rooftops - and their front cover. Massive letters heralded the "Nou Barça!" while inside they dedicated a double-page spread to the HUGE story...
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Friday 13 June 2008, 14:28
Fernando Torres is finally starting to show that he may well be the one true heir to Raul's super striking throne. Not in the scoring a gazillion goals for Spain stakes, but in the pouty, sulky, staring from the bench way. Having been pulled off by...
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Tuesday 10 June 2008, 11:00
Real Zaragoza are beginning to get a teeny, tiny inkling of the footballing jungle they will have to hack their way through next season with seedy stories of unsavoury goings on dribbling out of the Spanish second division. Adding to the ongoing reports...
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Monday 09 June 2008, 14:22
It seems that the repeated fining of Atlético Madrid and Real Betis for constant failures to control their crowds is no longer sufficient to replenish the cake-purchasing coffers of the bigwigs running the game in Spain. With the price of oil rapidly...
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Friday 06 June 2008, 17:00
After months of media speculation, rampant rumour mongering and downright dodgy deception, the transfer deal of this and perhaps all summers has finally been sealed. And the news was met by incredible scenes of joy and jubilation on the streets of a stunned...
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Thursday 05 June 2008, 23:54
According to AS ’s page 16 stunner Carmen Colino, Robinho is bang out of order. From the safety of the Brazil camp, the condom-loving forward has admitted that he has offers from Manchester United and Chelsea. More to the point, he's admitted that...
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Wednesday 04 June 2008, 11:46
When Ramón Calderón pledged last week that his personal goal for next season was to open his presidential trap an awful lot less, La Liga Loca 's face fell faster than Jesus Navas being handed a suitcase and a round-the-world airline ticket. That's...
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Tuesday 03 June 2008, 12:18
"......................................" That's the noise inside Guti's head. Aside from the occasional burst of the Magic Roundabout theme. That's also the reply from Levante's bosses in response to their players' repeated...
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Monday 02 June 2008, 11:33
If there are two men in Spain who definitely need to join Guti and Raul for a spot of R&R it's the Chuckle Brothers of La Liga, Ramón Calderón and Joan Laporta. Not that the comedy duo have worked particularly hard over the past nine months and...
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Friday 30 May 2008, 11:37
On Thursday, a smugger looking version of Seinfeld ’s George Costanza banged on the drawbridge doors of the Kingdom of Catalunya carrying a very large box indeed. It wasn’t elevenses being delivered to the Barça board, but 9,473 signatures which will...
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Thursday 29 May 2008, 19:00
So, Racing de Santander coach Marcelino's not going to Sevilla after all. He's mental and is instead going to relegated Zaragoza, thus turning down the chance to lead Racing into their first ever European campaign. That leaves a job available...
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Wednesday 28 May 2008, 12:14
Now that the whole time-consuming football business is over with for a wee while, La Liga Loca has been able to dedicate itself to the far more important business of Spanish reality television. And the blog has had a bit of a shock. Just a few short years...
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Monday 26 May 2008, 22:13
Last Thursday, Real Madrid's Sporting Director, Pedja Mijatovic was settling into seat 1D of his Iberia flight from Moscow to Madrid. As the Prince of Darkness reapplied his hair gel and nibbled on a spider he had found scuttling across the floor...
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Thursday 22 May 2008, 11:56
Everything has a good and a bad side. Except David Bisbal. The housing bubble burst is set to cause bankruptcies and repossessions and all the misery that walks hand in hand with that kind of business. But on the happier side, the crunching credit crisis...
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Wednesday 21 May 2008, 17:32
Now, we’ve been here before but just to recap: Real Madrid president Ramón Calderón has done lots of bloody stupid things. Like buying that creaking Airfix plane he forces the team to travel in. Like letting some Italian bloke who doesn’t much look like...
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Tuesday 20 May 2008, 11:12
When English clubs talk about adopting a 'continental model' for their side, they really are barking up the wrong footballing tree. That's because they are under the assumption that the aforementioned structure is designed to give stability...
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Monday 19 May 2008, 12:46
Good Day Osasuna / Recreativo / Valladolid All three started the day out of the drop zone. And all three finished the day out of the drop zone, despite their best efforts. The already knee-trembling tension was pumped up a little more for these relegation...
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Friday 16 May 2008, 12:22
Saturday Murcia (19th) v Barcelona (3rd) This week, the Catalan press has been keeping itself busy by indulging in more anarchic acts of reckless speculation than Nick Leeson ever managed. Both Sport and Mundo Deportivo have churned out stories moving...
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Thursday 15 May 2008, 17:00
Levante are downing tools after two years without pay after one player had to send his missus home to live with his mother while he dossed down on a mate’s floor, after a whole fleet of flash cars were taken back, after bank accounts were frozen, after...
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Wednesday 14 May 2008, 12:15
For the Spanish of a more traditional generation, choosing where to go on holiday is a fairly simple business. It's either the village or the beach. None of your Guardian-reading fannying around with oyster-tickling trips to Tahiti. Oh no. Come August...
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Tuesday 13 May 2008, 11:22
Like the very odd man currently seated at the table next to La Liga Loca in its favourite café, Real Madrid may well be playing with themselves on Sunday. In the most predictable move since both Marca and AS decided to run Cristiano Ronaldo to Madrid...
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Monday 12 May 2008, 14:21
Good Day Atlético Madrid "We Are De Champions" was the erroneous attempt at an English headline on the front page of Monday's Marca . "We are in fourth place but will probably balls it up in the qualifying rounds" was the less...
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Friday 09 May 2008, 11:36
Sunday Zaragoza (16th) v Real Madrid (1st) To prevent any sneaky shenanigans or any on the field funny business, all matches this weekend will kick off on Sunday. At 9pm. Meaning a quarter of a million or so people will be flopping onto their sofas sometime...
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Thursday 08 May 2008, 22:14
Let's face it, everyone - including La Liga Loca - is talking about Barcelona's not-at-all hidden shame today. About the "pasillo" they were forced to hand Real Madrid before last night's clásico. And the hideous 4-1 kicking they...
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Wednesday 07 May 2008, 11:38
Wednesday Betis (12th) v Valladolid (14th) Today's the day when the Beticos roll up their sleeves, scrunch up their eyes and endure a 90-minute long Chinese burn from the bully boys of the Spanish footballing authorities. Today's the day when...
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Tuesday 06 May 2008, 12:56
If you are to believe the multiple Pulitzer prize-winning papers in Catalunya, Pep Guardiola is about to become the luckiest puppy in the world. That's because the former Al-Ahli Doha and Dorados de Sinaloa legend is set to have his life completely...
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Monday 05 May 2008, 16:17
Good Day Real Madrid Monday's El Pais sums up the praiseworthy performance of the whole celebrating side - all 10 of them - in the final frenetic five minutes of the match with the words "attitude, faith and courage." The one player who...
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Friday 02 May 2008, 12:14
Saturday Atlético Madrid (4th) v Recreativo (16th) With the rojiblancos mired in their second-worst closing half of the season since 2002, the president admitting off-mic that his players are pants and Pablo Ibañez confessing that his tottering team-mates...
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Thursday 01 May 2008, 17:11
Barcelona, eh? It’s worse than The Tower during the reign of Henry VIII and his insatiable ginger loins. Worse than Traitors’ Corner when it’s that time of month down Queen Elizabeth I’s way. Worse even than Two-for-One day at the Place de la Revolution...
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Wednesday 30 April 2008, 11:08
"Watch out! He's getting away," screamed Marca 's man in Manchester as Rijkaard bolted for the Barcelona bus. "Burn him!" screamed the Sport supremo. "Yes! Burn him," yelled Mundo Deportivo 's roving reporter...
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Tuesday 29 April 2008, 10:53
Tuesday's Champions League clash between Manchester United and Barcelona looks like it has squeezed every last drop of effervescence and enthusiasm from the pom-pom waving, back-flipping Catalan sports press. Nine months of continual "Come on...
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Monday 28 April 2008, 12:00
GOOD DAY Real Madrid Bless their cotton socks, Real Madrid are starting to play like proper grown-up champions. That said, they'll have to wait a while for the actual accolade – possibly, if Osasuna have any say in the matter at the Reyno de Navarra...
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Friday 25 April 2008, 17:15
SATURDAY APRIL 26 Deportivo (8th) vs Barcelona (3rd) And so another rip-roaring weekend of Iberian soccerball kicks off with the most exciting, in-form, team-shredding club in Spain taking on Barcelona. Oh yes. Deportivo are currently hotter than La Liga...
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Thursday 24 April 2008, 10:51
If the bored-witless Spanish viewers are to be tempted back to their TVs for the second Champions League helping of Liverpool vs Chelsea, they'll have to display the same kind of guts, determination and fearsome fortitude required when attempting...
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Wednesday 23 April 2008, 13:29
"And there'll be cake... and there'll be games". Oh dear. "And there'll be jelly! And I can invite all my friends." Marca has turned into a seven-year-old girl. "And we'll build a big wigwam! And play in the tree...
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Tuesday 22 April 2008, 10:05
It was to stunned gasps when Agustin Morera finally spoke at Monday afternoon's emergency meeting at the Mestalla. "Gentlemen, we need to take a long hard look at ourselves," began the club president. "It's time to take responsibility...
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Monday 21 April 2008, 11:38
Good Day Levante Ah. It's been another vintage year for the goons nominally in charge of the game in Spain. Changing kick off times and locations the day before matches. Doing diddly squat about the TV wars. Forgetting all about Betis' punishment...
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Friday 18 April 2008, 14:38
Saturday Barcelona (2nd) v Espanyol (8th) It's the "derby of depression" according to AS with the faces of both sets of fans longer than Ruud Van Nistelrooy in a hall of mirrors. The pessimistic pericos decided to take action against their...
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Friday 18 April 2008, 11:24
It was the Cup final that had it all. A match ball that was parachuted in, the kind of noise that makes your ears bleed, enough orange wigs to keep Cilla Black in hair for a decade, and Chikilcuatre dancing the ChikiChiki on the Calderón pitch - a deranged...
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Wednesday 16 April 2008, 15:11
Despite being stranded in Spain for a good few years now as it struggles to save the pennies for that golden Easyjet ticket home, La Liga Loca has yet to completely adapt to its Iberian environment. The blog will literally die if it has to wait until...
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Tuesday 15 April 2008, 10:35
Aside from Guti's outrageous attempt at a dive on Sunday night there's nothing quite so foolish in football as counting the rapidly rising price of your chickens before they are hatched. But that's exactly what Real Madrid appear to be doing...
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Monday 14 April 2008, 12:18
Good Day Wesley Sneijder The combination of a seven-man defence for Murcia and a 10-man Real Madrid was the perfect storm resulting in Sunday's Bernabeu bore-fest. La Liga Loca was counting its blessings that a blinding sun shut out most of the first...
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Friday 11 April 2008, 11:18
Saturday Valencia (14th) v Racing Santander (5th) Quite possibly the hands down, no-doubt-about-it, all-bets-are-off, worst buy of the season since La Liga Loca gave Guti an instruction-less colouring book for his birthday is Nikola Zigic. The Serbian...
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Wednesday 09 April 2008, 11:03
There was none so giddy and giggly as La Liga Loca's newspaper kiosk man on Wednesday morning. And it wasn't because the blog had finally paid the bill on those specialist import magazines. Instead it was the footballing festival of Liverpool...
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Tuesday 08 April 2008, 11:55
In another one of those forehead-slapping 'what on earth were they thinking?' moments, the shaved monkeys running Spanish football - the same simple-minded simians who allowed the Mallorca v Real Madrid match to be televised (badly) on two channels...
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Friday 04 April 2008, 11:13
Saturday Osasuna (14th) v Recreativo (18th) It was heart-warming to see Osasuna resort to their default setting, on Sunday, against Getafe. And that's booting the opposition about. They did it last season when they ended up with seven men on the pitch...
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Thursday 03 April 2008, 12:19
Real Madrid president Ramón Calderón has done some bloody stupid things and wasted a bloody lot of money on a bloody lot of rubbish. Let's not produce a list because we could be here all day what with rickety old planes, dreadful signings, broken...
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Wednesday 02 April 2008, 13:35
Barcelona's fairly useful 1-0 win over Schalke 04, in Gelsenkirchen, means that the Catalan press continues to go through more ups and downs than Lindsay Lohan on a pogo stick. It's with a tangible air of disappointment that Sport cover Tuesday...
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Tuesday 01 April 2008, 11:03
It seems that Bernd Schuster is not the only manager in Madrid to have an uncontrollable evil dark side, as Javier Aguirre does, too. While the alter-ego of the man at the helm of Real Madrid has taken to getting up in the night, logging onto his website...
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Monday 31 March 2008, 12:29
Good Day Villarreal The big debate in Spain - aside from whether the country's Eurovision entry 'Rodolfo Chikilicuatre' is a national disgrace or one of the wonders of the world - is whether Villarreal possess the footballing tackle to go...
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Friday 28 March 2008, 13:31
Saturday Real Betis (13th) v Barcelona (2nd) Slightly slow? Fond of a lunchtime tipple? Staggeringly inept? Then come help run Spanish football. On Thursday morning ,this match was due to be played in Betis' Manuel Ruiz de Lopera stadium which is...
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Thursday 27 March 2008, 14:23
So, Spain beat Italy - dirty, boring, cynical, successful Italy - in Elche. 1-0 thanks to a fantastic volley from David Villa. And it could not have gone better. Which is a roundabout way of saying it could not have gone much worse. Let La Liga Loca explain...
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Wednesday 26 March 2008, 11:21
With an hour or two to kill at an airport, recently, a bored-to-tears La Liga Loca took a moment to flick through a couple of self-help business books aimed at desperate and despairing corporate types looking to tick off the 'strategic thinking'...
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Tuesday 25 March 2008, 09:08
Good Day Angel Javier Arizmendi "The worst player scores the best goal," declared an astonished Spanish hack moments after the Valencia striker/full-back/ waste of space poked the ball past a baffled and bewildered Iker Casillas. He wasn't...
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Friday 21 March 2008, 11:23
Saturday Mallorca (12th) v Deportivo (14th) Easter week in Spain and there are more virgins being carried around the streets of the country than an Amish piggyback race. One club who may well be able to boast a miracle of resurrection at this most sacred...
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Thursday 20 March 2008, 14:40
So, Real Betis Balompié will not play the final 19 minutes of their match against Athletic Bilbao after a bottle thrown from the stands hit visitors’ goalkeeper Armando and led to the game being abandoned with the score at 2-1 to Athletic. It has been...
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Wednesday 19 March 2008, 10:50
Most Primera club presidents carry chips on their shoulders the size of Strasbourg. They are some of the paranoid men on the planet, primed to come over all Kenneth Williams and declare, "infamy, infamy, they've all got in for me", at any...
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Tuesday 18 March 2008, 11:08
Further evidence that Diego Maradona may still be as high as a kite was produced on Tuesday, with Marca revealing that the rotund rebel has recommended that Bernd Schuster be the next manager of Boca Juniors. Delirious Diego is under the impression that...
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Monday 17 March 2008, 11:19
Good Day Villarreal Another cracking finish from Nihat, his first league strike since 19th January, means that the smart money is on the Yellow Submarine to overhaul Barcelona and grab second spot. The really smart money may be on Villarreal winning the...
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Friday 14 March 2008, 11:40
Saturday Recreativo (18th) v Murcia (19th) Almost everything that comes out of his mouth is objectionable, but it still gives La Liga Loca a warm and fuzzy feeling to have Javier Clemente back in the football fold. Like the mad shouting man of Malasaña...
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Thursday 13 March 2008, 11:48
Before every La Liga game last Sunday, a minute’s silence was held in memory of Isaías Carrasco, the PSOE councillor from Mondragón who was shot three times and killed by ETA as the Basque terrorist group sought to disrupt the run-in to the Spanish general...
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Wednesday 12 March 2008, 13:30
In this 'buy coffee, sell tea', dog-eat-dog, 'I drink your milkshake' world there is nothing more exasperating than the Spanish 'abuela' or grandmother. With her strange bouffant hair, fur coat and hatred of humanity, she is a...
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Tuesday 11 March 2008, 10:49
After several days spent wandering the gold-paved streets of Hove pondering the conundrum of how some herbs and melted cheese stuffed in a focaccia can cost seven pounds frickin' fifty, La Liga Loca has returned poorer but no wiser to sunny Spain...
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Friday 07 March 2008, 17:16
Think raffles, bring-and-buy sales, and prize draws are pretty rubbish ways for football clubs to make cash? Well, here’s a fund-raiser that really is ***. Over 3,000 people turned up at the home of Galician side Amoeiro Club de Fútbol, braving the rain...
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Wednesday 05 March 2008, 10:57
If you are an ex-Real Madrid player and also happen to have popped your clogs, then you're rarely allowed to rest in peace. Indeed, if you are a chilly gust of wind away from passing on to the other side like Alfredo di Stefano, then you are definitely...
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Tuesday 04 March 2008, 12:00
No country for music lovers The judge on the far left of the three-person jury muttered under his breath, rubbed his forehead with one hand and jabbed away with the other at the ‘reject’ button. It had been a very long day. The stressed-out TV star had...
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Monday 03 March 2008, 13:07
Good Day Robinho "The new Kaka" is how the typically unimaginative Marca described the boy from Brazil on Monday morning, with the story that Madrid are looking to tie Robinho down until 2013 – contract wise, that is. Anything else would be...
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Friday 29 February 2008, 12:05
Atlético Madrid (4th) v Barcelona (2nd) The sand has been spread, the net erected and Ronaldinho has squeezed himself into his favourite thong – let's be grateful Maniche is in Italy. Yes, it's time for the festival of beach volleyball that is...
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Thursday 28 February 2008, 08:00
A couple of weeks ago, La Liga Loca presented the best goal of the season so far and one of its favourite ever - not Alvaro Negredo's brilliant free-kick flick-up volley type thing, although that was bloody good, but Fernando Llorente's stroke...
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Wednesday 27 February 2008, 11:00
After many months of seeing his sulking son being brutally booed and bullied by fans and hacks alike, the big daddy of Valencia has stepped in to end the entertaining affair. Bautista Soler, father of club president Juan Bautista Soler, confirmed on Tuesday...
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Tuesday 26 February 2008, 12:30
There's nothing the Spanish enjoy more than reversing into traffic without looking and a good old row, so it's often quite hard to get people to agree on anything. If the moderator of Monday night's election debate - two grown men calling...
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Monday 25 February 2008, 14:37
Good Day Mad Sammy Eto'o Cameroon's striking superstar celebrated his first hat-trick in the Spanish league, by grabbing a camera off a Mundo Deportivo pitch side photographer and snapping a rather blurred shot of Bojan. And Mundo Deportivo were...
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Friday 22 February 2008, 14:38
Saturday Valencia (9th) v Recreativo (15th) It's a bracing Friday morning in Valencia. The trainers will be laying out the cones. The manager will be running through the tactics ahead of the visit of a resurgent Recreativo. The frisky footballers...
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Wednesday 20 February 2008, 15:03
"It was a great game between two attacking sides and I think the second leg is very open. It could be even better than this one", was what Bernd Schuster should have said after Real Madrid's 2-1 defeat to Roma, on Tuesday night, a match...
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Tuesday 19 February 2008, 17:09
For every ying in life, there must be a yang. For every Natasha Bedingfield there must be a Fiona Apple. And for every limping, lame mummy's boy like Vicente there must be a Cata Díaz. And that's because Díaz, the Getafe centre back, has now played...
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Monday 18 February 2008, 12:18
Monday's Good Day, Bad Day – Round 24 Good day Barcelona "Yes, the league is on!" squealed Mundo Deportivo , just a few days after dismally declaring claiming that all was lost. La Liga Loca recommends that all caffeine is removed from their...
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Friday 15 February 2008, 12:14
Saturday Real Betis (16th) v Real Madrid (1st) From time to time in this journey we call life, there are little things you learn that make the constant toil and trouble so much easier to suffer. This week, La Liga Loca learned something that shouldn't...
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Thursday 14 February 2008, 08:59
“It’s interesting to see Guti take that free-kick with his left foot when he’s predominantly a right-footed payer.” So said Trevor Francis during Sky Sports’ coverage of Real Madrid versus Villarreal recently. What?! Guti right-footed? Are you having...
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Wednesday 13 February 2008, 15:12
Valencia v Valencia David Albeda has had quite a bit of time on his hairy hands since being ordered never to darken the Mestalla doorstep ever again. So he has gone and bought himself powerded wig and a box set of Ally McBeal DVDs. That's because...
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Tuesday 12 February 2008, 17:19
For those of you who assumed that the life of a professional footballer was a baffling blur of hot tubs and high jinks, then hang your heads in shame and go stand in the corner. Unless you had Patrick Kluivert in mind. Or anyone who is playing for has...
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Monday 11 February 2008, 13:16
Good Day Real Madrid There must have been an awful lot of double parked Landrovers on Castellana, on Sunday night, as that can be the only explanation for thousands of Real Madrid fans leaving the Bernabeu World of Burberry with their side 6-0 up and...
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Friday 08 February 2008, 16:31
Saturday Murcia (18th) v Villarreal (4th) This week's winner of La Liga Loca's 'liar, liar pants on fire' award goes to Murcia president, Jesús Samper, with his suspiciously sumptuous support for current coach, Lucas Alcaraz. "When...
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Friday 08 February 2008, 12:30
Was Cristiano Ronaldo’s free-kick the best ever? Maybe. But how about this one from a game between Almeria and Valladolid ? And yet the best set-play so far this season in Spain is in fact not a free-kick at all, but a kick-off – the fastest ever La Liga...
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Wednesday 06 February 2008, 14:53
So a group of Liverpool fans furious with Hicks and Gillette have decided to join forces and try to buy the club themselves.100,000 fans paying £5,000 would be enough to raise the €500m they think they need to gain control. So far, so good – and we’re...
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Tuesday 05 February 2008, 11:28
He was Monica Bing's former billionaire, Ultimate Fighting boyfriend. He lost most of his limbs in Very Bad Things . And now Víctor Muñoz is ex-manager of Recreativo. The former Mallorca, Villarreal, Lleida, Zaragoza and Panathinaikos coach was booted...
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Monday 04 February 2008, 13:45
Good Day Víctor Valdés It's not unusual to get into an argument with a Barcelona fan over the merits of their players. Culés can be sensitive souls, sometimes. But it is an odd occurrence when you end up defending one of their squad from a rubbishing...
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Friday 01 February 2008, 15:23
Saturday Almería (8th) v Real Madrid (1st) The last eighteen months have been tough ones for Ramón Calderón. Being detained in New York having been mistaken for a narco-trafficker and using a countrywide Jedi mind trick by claiming never to have wanted...
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Friday 01 February 2008, 11:29
So, Valencia president and owner Juan Soler finally sacked the man really responsible for the club’s crisis. After going through five coaches, five directors of sport, three director generals, and three medical chiefs. After increasing the club’s debt...
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Wednesday 30 January 2008, 20:30
With Frank Rijkaard having waved a big white flag of surrender on the title race with his rather defeatist, "it seems that no-one can beat Real Madrid," comment, it's time for everyone to work out how they are going to pass the next four...
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Tuesday 29 January 2008, 21:14
As expected, the Sevilla v Osasuna post-match mayhem has caused more foul-smelling fallout than a dozen rumbling Russian reactors blowing their tops. But it is not the water throwing, the neck grabbing or police punching that has caused all the to-do...
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Monday 28 January 2008, 17:23
For those wanting to see La Liga Loca in beautiful surround sound, HD 3D, tune into Extra Time (22.05 UK time) on Real Madrid TV – a show repeated throughout the week. Bad Day Valencia OK. Hands up in surrender. This isn't funny anymore. La Liga Loca...
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Saturday 26 January 2008, 09:09
Saturday Sevilla (9th) v Osasuna (14th) Ten defeats this season - the third worst record in the league - means that excitable Sevilla coach, Manuel Jiménez, is almost certainly going to be thrown into the managerial dumpster over the summer, with a proper...
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Thursday 24 January 2008, 21:11
Kelly Osbourne's recent diatribe against a 'fatist' society has fallen on deaf ears in Spain – exactly what people wish they possessed every time the portly popster opens her mouth to sing, as it happens. This isn't because of the local...
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Wednesday 23 January 2008, 19:04
It hurts when La Liga Loca types today. Oh it hurts. That's because La Liga Loca has plasters on most of its fingertips. And that's because La Liga Loca was up half the night making a brand new voodoo doll. And we all know what happened the last...
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Monday 21 January 2008, 16:11
Good Day Francisco Casquero The match between Getafe and Sevilla was similar to one of those tug-of-love American tv movies for La Liga Loca . But without the scenes of domestic violence and bad guys being stabbed in the eye that are frequently broadcast...
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Friday 18 January 2008, 18:23
Saturday Villarreal (5th) v Valencia (7th) This week began with the normal mayhem in Mestalla, got marginally better, but will end with doom and despair when Valencia have their arses handed to them by their neighbours from hell, Villarreal. The seven...
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